- [Stupid] Simon Cowell: "Britney Spears was in awe of me." Then again, Britney stands in awe of shiny objects and deep-fried Cheetos, so that's nothing to brag about
- [Stupid] J.K. Rowling releases her super honest swear-to-God-it's-true-this-time last book in the Harry Potter series. Again
- [Followup] David Gregory set to continue the long line of men who look like Muppets hosting "Meet the Press"
- [Silly] Hollywood is out of ideas reason #10,351: "Speed 3" is in the works. Bonus, Keanu Reeves to reprise role from the original flick
- [Followup] Boy George admits to handcuffing escort to bed, fails to offer explanation for why he's slowly turning into The Penguin
- [Spiffy] Bond's underwater Lotus sold at auction. New owner struggling to get the smell of fish from back seat
- [Spiffy] Sci-Fi Channel greenlights new series "Caprica," starring that guy from "The Fly 2" as possibly the fifth Cylon
- [Followup] Citing paralyzing fear of clowns, Tim Kring says "nothing in the works" for Wil Wheaton on Heroes
- [Obvious] Miley Cyrus says she'd love to work with Vanity Fair's phtographer Annie Leibovitz again. In a few years, it's expected that the phrase "arch your back a little more" will be heard on a regular basis
- [Silly] Keanu Reeves says turning forty was like being "in a club with a secret handshake." Whoa
- [Obvious] Ron Howard almost STFU, but then chose not to
- [Followup] Ivana Trump burned through her fourth husband. Her boy toy was a great playmate but apparently not marriage material....then again, how would she know?
- [Obvious] Re-hotted Britney Spears laments on the difficulty of forgoing corn chips and derangement
- [Interesting] TV catch phrases are dead because the audience is too fragmented now. Meanwhile, the Macy's Day parade is rickrolled. Your dog wants the Internet
- [Misc] Rikki Lake can't believe she was once fat. People can't believe Rikki Lake is still alive
- [Wheaton] What power should Wil Wheaton have on "Heroes"? Ability to wear awesome sweaters suspiciously absent
- [Cool] Tina Fey reveals how she got her scar, which Vanity Fair appears to have air-brushed out in this awesomely sexy photo (SFW)
- [Cool] The rare TV show that would actually make a nifty movie: The creator of HBO's "Rome" says he wants to revive the show on the big screen
- [Wheaton] Fark's favorite Star Trek know-it-all appears at a nerd convention with sci-fi author John Scalzi, shows off the awesome portrait the writer commissioned for him (pic)
- [Obvious] Madonna and A-Rod coincidentally in the same place same time again - this time it's Mexico City - who are they trying to fool
- [Silly] Hollywood is out of ideas: "Planet of the Apes" prequel on the way. Still no explanation for chimp Abe Lincoln
- [Unlikely] Paris Hilton finishes writing, recording second album, claims it's similar to Kylie Minogue. Which is like comparing Oasis to U2
- [Spiffy] Turbonegro guitarist Knut Schreiner beats cancer. It was lymphoma though, not knut cancer. Still no cure for crappy band names
- [Spiffy] Nigella Lawson is under criticism for re-using old footage for a new series, but the hell with that piddling news - TFA comes with a truly delightful picture of her decolletage
- [Followup] Miranda Kerr denies rumors of engagement to Orlando Bloom, says she's still not sure he's heterosexual
- [Interesting] Defending the death of Batman: "The staggering reality, far from Grant Morrison being a bad writer, is that many people criticising this series are bad readers"
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